Sunday, May 31, 2020

2:04 pm

The fire continued throughout the country last night and into today. The peaceful protests start out that way, and then the cops show up, in full military gear, looking for a fight. There were more shots of cops beating people, yanking people out of cars, and destroying supplies. And they start it. Today, one protest went down another street to avoid the police. 

In many cities, the police are shooting at the crowd, and particularly at people in the press. People are getting hurt. There are a lot of white faces in the crowd, some being allies, and some being rabble rousers. 

Fires are burning, at least they were last night. The National Guard is out in many cities to enforce curfews and keep the protesters in line. Trump is going to use all this chaos as a way to establish martial law. 

The pandemic is so last week. No one is talking about that, now that we have riots to worry about. It makes me crazy that journalists can’t stay with both. I can’t even tell you the number of people who have died, but it’s over 100,000. In three months. Cancer and Heart disease take more people in the same amount of time. But neither is contagious. 

I am doing my best to stay off of twitter, but it is very difficult. I need to witness what is going on in our country. We’re crashing and we can’t stop. 

Tonight is Downton Abbey night. We are at the beginning of season 5. It’s a glorious 2-3 hours of escape from this frightening world. 

Saturday, May 30, 2020

2:47 pm

108,000 dead

The number of people who have died from covid-19 is increasing, yet the country is opening back up. 

The protests continued last night and today. Last night, there were riots and destruction in many cities. However, photos have shown white people as the instigators, although the doughboy attorney general said antifa and the radical left were responsible for the riots and looting. 

The president is doing nothing to quell the anger and heat. Rather, he lobs grenades into the fire and watches everything burn. 

The police are shooting protesters with rubber bullets and tear gas. Cops are throwing people into the streets and exacerbating the anger, instead of helping it dissipate. 

Even if the looting is done by people in the neighborhood, I don’t really care. These are people who have a right to be angry, and the corporations have insurance. At last, the protesters are being heard. 

Friday, May 29, 2020

3:51 pm

104,000 dead

The country is burning. George Floyd, a black man, was killed in Minneapolis by 4 policemen who sat on him. There have been violent protests for the past few days. The President threw gasoline on the fire by calling protesters thugs. 

Last night, protesters lit the 3rd district police headquarters on fire. There were also fireworks. Oh say can you see. There were protests in other cities. In Louisville, 7 protesters were shot. They haven’t apprehended the shooters. 

If you’re white and you are protesting your rights about this virus, even if you are carrying a gun and yelling in a policeman’s face, you don’t get arrested. 

If you’re black and suspected of a non violent crime, you’re lucky if you make it out of the situation alive. 

There is such a dumpster full of news today, in addition to the murder, and the fact that the death toll from covid-19 is more than 104,000 people. 

Today is the first day I feel a little panicked about the future. Unemployment won’t last forever. Will I be able to work in September as a substitute teacher? Who knows? The uncertainty is nerve wracking and scary. All I can do is stay in the moment and deal with whatever comes when it comes. 

It’s another sad day, but I got out to my shady spot at Mare Island, after I got coffee and my car washed. I’ve been texting back and forth with Claudia P and Kate. They keep me grounded. 

Tuesday - May 26, 2020

2:47 pm 91 degrees

I absolutely hate summer here. It’s one big downside about where i live. Vallejo is not pretty. There are pretty spots, but the city is gritty. There are not many shady spots in the area, and I really need shade. The sun beats down, and the dry heat makes me cranky. At least my apartment is on the ground floor, so it is relatively cool, but not enough to keep me from sweating. A gallon baggie filled with ice is my friend. If there weren’t a pandemic, I would go swimming. Instead, I’ll take a cool shower and sit in front of the fan. It’s supposed to rain Friday and Saturday, and be much cooler. That is one thing to live for. 

Memorial Day 2020

Today is Memorial Day. It's very quiet, unlike other years. There are no barbecues and parties, due to the stay-at-home situation. And we are going to hit a horrifying statistic in a few days. 

Last time I wrote, the number of people who died from covid-19 was 90,000. As of today,99,754 people have succumbed to this virus. Yet there are people who are sure it is a hoax, just because they, themselves don't know anyone who has had it. The country is opening back up and people are not socially distancing, and many are not wearing masks. 

Despite the deaths, Trump played golf yesterday and today, and spent time on Twitter dissing his enemies. 

We have just completed our tenth week sheltering in place. Today, it is 90 degrees, and my apartment, even though it's the ground floor and usually cool, is warm. This weather makes me cranky. 

Other than current events, there is little that has changed. I have had a couple of zoom sessions with friends, and they boost me for days. 

I have utilized Instacart for the second time, to order groceries and have them delivered. It beats going to the grocery store.

And I got a CPAP machine. Pauli sent it to me, programmed. Last night was my eighth night of sleeping through the night. I had no idea what a good night sleep felt like. Now I do. 

It has taken a little getting used to, but it is definitely working. I had one many years ago, and it was a nightmare - clunky tubes, claustrophobic air mask, cumbersome console. This one is not huge.

Still Here

Everything is still the same, except for the fact that things are starting to open back up slowly. Here in Solano County, curbside retail and outdoor activities, like golf and tennis have come back on-line. The death toll topped 90,000 people today. What is there to say? The president has not relayed any type of sympathy to the survivors. Life goes on, apparently. Trump fired another inspector general Friday night, bringing the total to four. He and the secretary of state are in cahoots so there is no one to see over their grift. 

What Is There to Say?

Just completed the eighth week staying at home.  To stay sane, I am still going out for drives on most days. Today, I am still in my pajamas at 2:00, and not going anywhere, until tonight, when I am going to the Whitfields' for Downton Abbey at 6. All I have done today is drink coffee and scroll through Twitter. 

As of today, 80,000 Americans are dead from the corona virus. Our president thinks his response has been a success. Wall Street thinks so, too. The economy is opening back up, whether we have enough equipment and hospital space for what's coming. No one is being tested, unless you're in the White House. I should say, few are being tested. 

Vallejo is offering testing, but not very good information on how people are supposed to behave, now that parks and some retail is opening up. It looks like people think that they can leave their houses without masks, since the pandemic is over. Only it's not. In two months, 80,000 people have died. By June 1, the total will be more than a hundred thousand people. And we are supposed to act normally. 

Am I still supposed to stay home like I have been? I will, especially now that I have found grocery delivery. It costs more, but it is so worth it. I always disliked going to the grocery store, but even more so, with the pandemic. I get overwhelmed and stressed and forget to buy items that i need, all because I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. But delivery is life changing. It is so easy. Now what to do with all that time saved? Hmmm. I am working on that. 

Small things are irritating me. My landlord and his wife are outside every morning, gardening and listening to Chinese music. Normally, it doesn't bother me, because I am at work. But every day for the last eight weeks is making me cranky. Like I said, small things. 

My friends from Vero and I did a Zoom call last week. We stayed on for nearly two hours. It was so good to see them and hear them. It assuaged the loneliness that day. My dopamine levels shot up and stayed there for a few days. 

Tuesday night was Cinco de Mayo, so the Bakers had us over for dinner. It's breaking the rules, but everyone there has been quarantining. And it was worth the risk. 

An eventful couple of days

It's getting gnarly, as we enter our eighth week of lock down.  It is far from lock down. There are a few minor inconveniences, but if we're complaining, we're privileged. People are dying and our president is denying all responsibility. There are protests to open up the economy and not have to wear masks going on around the country. They look big on tv, but it's really just a bunch of idiots with small penises who are allowed to bombard a state capitols. If these assholes were black, there would be no protest going on. You don't even have to actually have a gun to get shot by the police when you are black. 

We are at just over a million cases in the United States. Yesterday, we passed the sad milestone of 58,353 dead in the Viet Nam War. 58,425 people. Human beings. In two months, more people have died in two months in 2020, than in the entire Vietnam war, which was twenty years long. I have to type this so I can see it on paper to realize this is a real thing. That's how unbelievable things are. In addition to pandemics and possible war with Iran or Iraq or whoever Donald Trump incites, we now are plagued by murderous hornets. What the actual fuck? Don't get on me about my use of that word. It encompasses every feeling I have about what is going on today. 

Today, i actually had something to do. As I do most days, I got my latte extra shot at my favorite drive through coffee kiosk. It is worth 4.25 every day to keep this local business afloat. I get to interact with humans for 3 minutes, and I go away with the drink that will start my day on the right path. 

After that, I headed to Lowe's, so I could get a gift card for Aunt Jean's birthday. The place was mobbed. I wore my mask into the star, picked out the card, and headed to a line for the cashier. They went back miles. I was really cranky when i drove into the parking lot and saw no empty spaces. I thought standing in line would be a nightmare, which it was, especially because i was suffocating under my mask, but the misery lasted no less than 15 minutes. The lines at Lowe's are tricky because of the huge carts they have for lumber and other big things. 

When I got out of Lowe's and away from all those people breathing on me, I drove to Lake Hermann Recreation Area. Of course, nearly every parking spot was taken. But i found I spot overlooking the late. I texted my brother, because this was the spot where I made my first phone call to him and heard his voice. 

Tonight, we celebrated Jean's birthday at Chris and Nancy's. There were only six of us. I feel guilty but obviously not guilty enough not to do it. 

My landlord asked me the other day where I go every day. I told him that I drove around and that I sat at Mare Island, under the eucalyptus trees. He's afraid I will bring the virus home. And he stresses whenever he hears me cough or sneeze, which is rarely.